What Do I Do When My Kid Walks Away From God?

I have the privilege of speaking at churches and conferences all over the world, and every time I do, I have the same experience. As I walk off stage, I am approached by a distraught parent desperate to know how to reach their son or daughter who has walked away from God.

We are in the midst of a prodigal son/daughter epidemic.

If you are one of those parents, what can you do? There are no simple answers or quick fixes, but let me offer three thoughts.

1. Get Your Own House in Order First

‍More than anything, a prodigal son or daughter needs to SEE the reality of God in your life.

They’ve likely heard it all. They grew up in church, went to youth groups, Christian camps, etc. - they know enough. What they need is to experience the power and presence of God in their daily lives. This isn’t something you give them, but it is something that they can see in you.

The best thing you can do for your kids is to demonstrate a daily authentic pursuit of Jesus in your own life.

Get on your knees and seek God in a new way. Read the Bible daily, and ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit and transform you from the inside and out.

As your life begins to change, your words will take on a spiritual weight and power that will be hard to ignore.

2. Show Mercy

‍When a person rejects the faith of their family, it can be painful and messy. As a parent, your instincts might be to point out all the reasons they are wrong or warn them of the significant consequences that await them.

But is this effective? Is this how God treats us? Romans 2:4 seems to suggest otherwise. The Apostle Paul writes, “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?”

‍Your daughter who has encountered rival worldviews at college and has abandoned her faith doesn’t need to be told she’s wrong. She knows where you stand. She needs to know that your love for her remains unchanged, that you want to be in her life, and that God isn’t afraid of her questions and neither are you.

Your son who has decided that the Christian sexual ethic is outdated and close-minded, and has chosen a different path, doesn’t need to be scolded and warned of the consequences of his actions. He needs to know that you will be there for him unconditionally. From this foundation, you can ask the Holy Spirit for opportunities to share how God’s design for life is intended to set us free, not limit our joy.

Jesus went after the heart first, and then the behavior followed. We need to be like Him.

3. Give It to God!

‍Ultimately, your son or daughter's life belongs to God. Their soul is His work and a burden you cannot possibly carry. We aren’t called to change lives, but we are told to pray.

Prayer can feel passive and powerless when facing a tragic situation, but is it? From what I read in scripture, prayer unleashes extraordinary power, though Satan works hard to convince us otherwise.

Prayer is not the last resort. It’s the only weapon we are given in our fight against the powers and principles that are blinding the eyes of those who don’t see and follow Jesus.

So don’t lose heart. Be like the widow before the unjust judge and pray! Get desperate and get unreasonable! Expect that God will move, and don’t stop until He does.